It had been a long morning and Walter was very tired; all he
needed was a good place to sleep. Something inside of him was reassuring him
with every step that his day could only be getting better. The funny thing
about assuming things will get better when one is having a terrible day. The
universe has a way of proving people wrong. Philosophers have postulated that
this is due to the Universe having a bad day itself, or being bored, or just
generally being a jerk.
On his door was a wonderfully written notice of eviction.
Why, he thought, would anyone be evicted for just three months back rent? He
knew people in the movies never had this problem, they just told the landlord
the money would be there next week, and the idiots would believe it. It wasn’t
so much being evicted that bothered Walter; it was the time he had to be off
the premises.
The note said be clear of place by noon, it was already
eleven thirty. Now he was truly in a bind. Without a car to put his crap in, he
had only a half of an hour to get the really important stuff out of his
apartment. He opened the door and took as much stuff as he could. He shoved
bobbles and trinkets into pockets that he never knew he had before. Twelve was
approaching fast and his landlord wasted no time. At precisely noon a big burly
man, I use man loosely here, with so much hair, hair in places one would not
choose to imagine, walked in.
Walter said in a faltering voice, “Yes, can I help you?”
The man replied in an overly interested voice, “It’s time to
go.”
“Go? Where? Did I win a trip?” Walter sounded somewhat
excited.
“Hmmmm…” the man patted his beard in thought, or least Walter
thought it was his beard. “I do not believe so. You have however won a one way
ticket out of this apartment.”
“And if I resist?”
“Oh… I do like it when they resist, please I have some
aggression to get rid of.” The man grinned and began smacking his left fist
into his right hand.
“Do you?” Walter replied in a half frantic voice.
“Well yes and no.”
“Yes what? And No what?”
“Yes I do have some aggression to get rid of, but no I don’t
really enjoy it when ex-tenants resist.”
Walter had to ask, “Why is that?”
“Well you see; it’s my mum…”
“Stop,” Walter interrupted, “I think I have heard this story
before.”
“Don’t want to listen, ehhh?”
With that Walter sat down on his bed and waited and made a
stubborn face of a four year-old. The man picked him up with one hand and
tossed him through the window. “Would you like to come back in and try that
again?” said the man.
“Um… no I don’t believe so, I’ll just be hobbling down the
street.”
“Well have a nice day sir.” The man smiled from ear to ear.
“Thanks, you too, enjoy your day evicting people.” Walter’s
voice sounded almost sarcastic.
“I will, I always do.” Walter could tell that the man was
very ecstatic about this point; something in his voice just screamed it.
-V-
No comments:
Post a Comment