Driving Away

I sat in my car flipping through the radio stations. Each one was pretty garbage to listen to. The first one I scanned to happened to be religious talk. I just can’t generally believe anyone who has a radio show is terribly pious. Next up classic rock, songs your suburban friends father would listen to while drinking a light nondescript American beer. Followed up quickly by top forty, to me this is just the bottom of the bottoms of music. Artists that have no idea how to sing or play their instruments, being electronically fixed to the music written by someone who has algorithms for what sells and basically is mass producing fast food music that everyone finds easy to consume but lacks all the essential nutrients that people need to grow and have meaning.

I ended up just turning the radio off. I had been driving for hours. Just following where my heart was telling me to go. Generally south and west. I don’t know why these directions were what was working, but every time I came to a decision point in the road, I would sort of just keep aiming for where the sun was going. It seemed to be working well until the sun was completely out of sight, and now I had absolutely no idea where I was.

How did I get here? No idea. I remember a few words with Clara, but something snapped, my vision sort of blurred and I know a lot of yelling happened. It almost felt like I just exited my body from the back and watched a movie that you don’t remember, just some pieces and parts scattered around your memory. She had been talking about my brother and how he had been living on our couch. I remember that. And I was defending him as he is family, and well you don’t really have a choice.

Brent had come on hard times a few months back. He was laid off of his job due to the CEO of his company wanting a pool installed at his house, and need Brent’s paycheck to get there. Some people are the absolute worst. It really wasn’t his fault, but they also found a way to make it look like negligence on the job and now he had no way of covering the gap until he found something new to pay the bills.

Clara just couldn’t deal with one more person in the house and I don’t blame her. It’s always had to work with extra people in your space. But this argument was just too much. He’s family for christ sakes. I think the last thing I said before I slammed the door shut behind me was, “Fine! well now there will be one less person in the house!” Then I got in the car and just drove. I let all the thoughts in my mind drift away and let the sound of the tires on the road drift up into my ears and sooth away the fight.

I suppose it was time to head back, as soon as I could figure out where back was. I have a long conversation to have with Brent, and some apologies to give to Clara. I know everything will work out though, it always does.

-V-

Food Truck

Jeff looked out the window over the cash register in front of him. The line was twice a long as yesterday, perhaps longer, it was wrapping the corner of the street and he couldn’t see the end to it. So many faces he recognized from daily purchases at his food truck. “How could people afford to buy barbecue meats on a daily basis?” He though to himself. It was so expensive to get meat nowadays. Everything was more expensive, but meat was leading the charge, and it was doing it with reckless abandon.

It was going to be a hard days work today, but at least it would go by quickly. Jeff learned long ago that being busy was the surest way to have the work day go by fast. Rainy days were the worst. You’d just have to stare out into the street and watch the rain drop for hours on end. The outside chance someone braved a storm for some jerk chicken. It was rare for sure. Those were also the days he would be there alone, no point in paying two or more people to do nothing but watch the rain.

Today that was not the case. He had three people with him, one working all the grills and smokers, one prepping and plating sides, one keeping things outside stocked and cleaned up, and himself, he got the joy of working the cash register. He liked working this spot at the truck. It allowed him to see peoples smiling faces when they received their order. Or offer a suggestion of the “best” item on the menu. The secret here is the “best” item was either whatever they had the most of that day, or something that was getting closer to the point of having to be thrown out, like extra fries going past the 30 minute mark.

An older man approached the truck and was looking confusedly at the menu plastered to the side of the vehicle.

“What can I get for yah?” Jeff asked. The older man was wearing a light hoodie. He had tufts of red hair poking out with lines of gray interspersed. He had on well worn blue jeans, that may or may not have been washed in the last few weeks. He was wearing penny loafers on his feet and looked a little startled when he heard Jeff’s voice.

“Oh, uh… Can I get a quarter pound of brisket, and some waffle fries?” He asked looking uncertain if this was possible given the menu.

“Sure thing man.” Jeff replied as he pressed his fingers lightly on the touch screen to get the items onto the bill. He looked at the order and told the man what the price was. The old man paid with some crumpled up bills he produced from his right pants pocket and handed them over to Jeff.

“Keep the change,” the old man said as he passed the money. It wasn’t much of a tip, but Jeff didn’t mind. He was just happy to be able to give this guy some great food.

-V-

Commitments

He stood impatiently by the door with his hand on the knob.

“Ava! Are you coming or not?” His irritability could be heard seeping through his voice.

“Just getting my coat on, Lucas. You don’t have to be in such a rush.” Ava said from inside a closet around the corner from the front door.

“I don’t really want to be paying to heat the whole neighborhood, and Yancey is eying the door.”

“That old cat is always eying the door.” She said with extra emphasis on the word always.

Lucas tapped his foot loud enough for the next-door neighbors to hear, as he impatiently stared down the cat. Yancey was a rescue cat. Ava and Lucas had always wanted a larger family, but weren’t quite ready for a large commitment. So they went to the local animal shelter and looked around for a new family member.

The interesting thing about rescue animals, is you don’t so much pick them, as they pick you. One has no idea what criteria each animal has, but they size up each and every soul that comes in looking for companionship and know who deserves theirs, and who doesn’t.

Yancey had obviously has a very full early life. He was missing patches of fur on his right cheek and his left hind quarters. His right ear drooped much like a lop eared rabbit, and his left ear was split down the middle from tip to base. What was left of his fur was a black and grey striped pattern from nose to tail, cropped short against his body.

When Ava and Lucas entered the shelter Yancey was almost entirely upon them. Even despite their protests. They were looking for… well, a more “normal” cat, but Yancey wouldn’t let off them. So in the end, he was the cat that became part of their family. And they ended up being very happy for it, just not until after they hosed him down and gave him a proper bath.

Yancey was folded in a crescent next to an air duct on the floor. One could see his fur tufting in the light wind being expelled from the duct. The cat opened one eye lazily toward the slight opening in the door and curled up more looking to deflect the chill. There was no chance this cat was going to trade the warmth and happiness he had now for an autumn romp.

Why had they decided to do this, Lucas thought, as he felt the bite of cold wind on his skin tight denim jeans. It sounded like such a good idea months ago when they first talked about it, “let’s go out and walk in nature! We can get back to our roots.” I mean on the face it was a great idea. But now he was staring at Yancey and thinking, that warmth of the register did seem pretty nice.

“Do we have to go outside?” Lucas asked, a slight pleading in his voice.

“Yes, yes we do, we’ve been putting this off for months, and it’s time we start doing what we promise each other. Also, I’m already bundled up for this.” Ava said matter of factly.

They exited the house and left Yancey to enjoy the quiet and warmth of the morning.

-V-

Morning Brew

She finally woke up early for once! The sun was not even peaking through her window, but the sky was a brilliant gradient of light yellow to deep orange. She just lay there in bed and let the morning chill from the large window touch her face while the rest of her body was well bundled up underneath the blankets. Too many nights had she gone to sleep well past the sun setting and woken up well into the broad daylight.

She was a firm believer that one should experience as much as possible, but her night time romps had been taking away from her morning escapades and she was working to correct that. Everything in moderation she chanted in her head, something her father had said to her all through her childhood. It was seldom heeded in her adulthood, but she was rounding an age where she felt perhaps it was time to start listening to the wisdom of those who lived before her.

A light click sounded in the distance and the faint burbling sounds of water percolating was carried through the air into her room. Then the scent, the earthy bouquet of steeping coffee entered the room with a bold effort. It perked up her nose and transported her back in time to the days before she lived alone sitting with her mother on the porch on early autumn mornings. With a steaming cup of coffee in her hands, her mother seated to her side on the wooden swing. The light squeak of chains holding the bench to the porch ceiling as they slowly rocked back and forth. Her mother talking about the woes of being married to her father. All tongue in cheek of course, as they had a deep caring relationship that would stand the test of time.

The memory was brief, but enough to help her to push the covers begrudgingly out of her way to exit the bed. A new day had dawned and she was ready to face it. The chill hit her all at once. She was not expecting that, it caused every hair on her body to stand up and try to protect her from the frigid advance on her skin. She snapped up a comfy yellow robe from the floor, it was discarded the previous night hastily trying to get to bed. She wrapped the cold fluffy fabric around her. She knew with a few good shivers the cloth would begin to take her warmth and radiate it back to her.

Around the corner the last few drips of water making their way into the ground coffee basket could be heard. The coffee maker was doing its usual exasperated sigh of steam when the water would run out. This might be the first time in years she had a fresh cup of coffee, she thought. Most days the murky liquid would sit in the carafe for hours while she slept, getting more bitter and intensifying the acidic taste. Not today though, today she was very hopeful for an amazing cup that could warm her all the way through.

-V-

Flight

The engine when from a soft purr to a super loud roar. Mary felt herself pushed back into the seat as she closed her eyes and imagined everything working as expected. She didn’t know why she would close her eyes on every takeoff, perhaps superstition, something her mother told her to do. Or perhaps she did it the first time on a plane and just became second nature now. It had been so long ago the point was lost and she let the thought pass by.

She had the unfortunate position of being in the dreaded middle seat. Years ago this would have never bothered her as she would get a chance to perhaps meet some new people and learn about their lives. Making friends used to be so easy. Now is was so much more difficult, and the pandemic certainly didn’t help things. Everyone was so afraid and tired, and tired of being afraid.

Even the guy sitting to the right of her was still wearing a mask and had a hoodie over his head. He seemed pressed as far up against the window as humanly possible and constantly was staring out the window. She wasn’t sure if he was terrified of flying or absolutely fascinated by it. Years ago she would just ask. But now, it seemed ill advised to even try to start a conversation.

She pulled out her phone and plugged it into the power adaptor in the seat in front of her. The airline had added the ability to watch shows on your phones and tablets using a wireless system on the plane. She thought it was funny that they were still asking people to put their phones in airplane mode, but explicitly allowed connecting to this service, surely it would interfere? Who knows, at least they had some television shows she was interested in watching. Most of the time services like these are filled with shows you’ve never heard of, or the worst of the worst shows you had heard of. She decided to watch a primetime soapy sort of show that didn’t require too much of her attention while she let the flight noises drone on in the background.

The flight attendant pulled up by her row and pushed a yellow bag of pretzels into her lap. It almost felt like the attendant needed to get rid of these bags as quickly as possible, almost like they would have given her ten packs just to be done with them. Next came the drinks question. It occurred to Mary that no matter how short or long a flight they made it a point to offer people ten cent cans of soda to everyone. She was sure the guy to her right was going to avoid all contact, but he seemed to light up and turn to the attendant and ask for a Dr. Pepper. The attendant obliged and he got to the matter of pouring his soda over the ice in a plastic cup that the attendant pass to him.

-V-

Bus

“How do you sleep?”

“Pardon?” She asked, looking up her eyes met the gaze of a smiling young man. He was about five foot eleven, wore pressed deep blue jeans, and a white short sleeve button down shirt. He had a beard, but it was very close cut, it felt like he had just started growing it the week before, but probably in reality had been trimming it for weeks. She inched away from him slightly pressing up against the bus window, not realizing that this might be misconstrued as an invitation to sit. He smiled even bigger and took the opportunity to sit down next to her.

“I said, how do you sleep?” He repeated with more gusto.

“What do you mean, how do I sleep? How does anyone sleep? lying down, I guess,” she said sort of flabbergasted that somebody would have asked such a stupid question. He stared at her with a near blank face, just the hint of a smile; She stared back trying to break his wall, but couldn't even create a crack. Why are there always creepers on the bus, she thought to herself.

“I know how people physically sleep…” he started.

“Oh good, well that’s nice to know.” She interjected, hoping to annoy him enough to leave her alone. She then turned to look out the window.

“But that’s not what I meant,” he continued, completely unfazed by her actions. “I meant, do you dream? How long does it take you to go to sleep? What do you think about? Do you wonder what brings sleep about?”

She had never thought about these questions, and oddly she did find them interesting, like she needed to answer them. Instead she responded, “Do I know you? You’re sort of creeping me out with all these questions. Are you a serial killer?” She took a moment at the last question she asked, “on second thought, I don’t know why I asked that. Every one should answer that last one the same way, and if they don’t I guess that’s a big red flag…”

He looked fixedly at her as she trailed off lamely. He sat in silence as he pondered her question. “No, I’m just on a bus, talking to people, I’m sorry if I offended you or came off as ‘creepy’. But I find life dreadfully boring if we all face forward and never talk to each other. I am sorry I bothered you.” He turned to get up, but she was caught off guard by his statement. Most guys would get angry offended and call her a name. But he seemed genuine, platonic, friendly.

“Wait.” She said to him, “How do you sleep?” He turned back and looked her in the face before choosing his words.

Delightedly he babbled, “I lie there, in bed on my back, staring at the ceiling, motionless. Then I hear music, something my mind constructs, its different every time, but it is always beautiful and amazing. Then I linger on the thoughts of the day, and turn to my side. Every thing goes dark and the dream scape opens for me.”

-V-

River

The other day I sat by the river. It was a cool day with the sun peeking in and out of the clouds. The water lazily going by with a few leaves and drift wood bobbing slowing in time to a song that was near the edge of perceptible. Bird song was also light on the wind, trying to cull me into a midday nap. On days like this I liked to take my shoes off and rest my feet in the water. I never knew why this was so calming, but it would just take any and all the stress I had built up recently and let it flow out of my body and get taken away by the moving water.

The river bank was well kept, with short grass from the waters edge all the way to the paved foot path behind me. Every now and again a runner or a biker would amble through my world and continue on to wherever they were headed. I never really understood running to run, or biking to bike. I was a big fan of running from things that needed to be run from, or biking to places that I needed to bike to; the key being need. But that was beyond me this day, this was all about reflection and solitude.

There’s something so amazing and brilliant about having some time to oneself in nature. I mean, you’re never truly alone, you always have yourself they say, but beyond that, there are thousands of life forms all around you, all the time. It’s easy to lose sight of that, but sitting by the river you can focus. Close your eyes, and listen. You will hear the birds chirping, you will hear the squirrels collecting food for the impending winter, you will hear the wind kissing the trees and grass around you.

Open your eyes and look, look to places you would normally discount as scenery. I could spend a lifetime looking at a single tree from every angle imaginable. The trunk, with it’s bark, the base where it takes root into the soil, climbing up into the bows to see the intricacies of the branches interplaying with each other and every individual leaf. There’s even a wealth of life living on the tree, the squirrels, the birds, the badgers, the bees, the spiders, the caterpillars, so many life forms all in one space, and usually we just see a brown stick with green foliage on top.

I always found it good to make time to be here, at least once a month, I think I should do it more often. When the seasons change this simple space transforms into a new world each time. In autumn you get the crunching of leaves and animals preparing for hibernation. In winter, everything in a frozen state, a time to really examine life unmoving. And in spring, when life is renewed from the cold, waking creatures and new life infused into aged things.

-V-