Driving Away

I sat in my car flipping through the radio stations. Each one was pretty garbage to listen to. The first one I scanned to happened to be religious talk. I just can’t generally believe anyone who has a radio show is terribly pious. Next up classic rock, songs your suburban friends father would listen to while drinking a light nondescript American beer. Followed up quickly by top forty, to me this is just the bottom of the bottoms of music. Artists that have no idea how to sing or play their instruments, being electronically fixed to the music written by someone who has algorithms for what sells and basically is mass producing fast food music that everyone finds easy to consume but lacks all the essential nutrients that people need to grow and have meaning.

I ended up just turning the radio off. I had been driving for hours. Just following where my heart was telling me to go. Generally south and west. I don’t know why these directions were what was working, but every time I came to a decision point in the road, I would sort of just keep aiming for where the sun was going. It seemed to be working well until the sun was completely out of sight, and now I had absolutely no idea where I was.

How did I get here? No idea. I remember a few words with Clara, but something snapped, my vision sort of blurred and I know a lot of yelling happened. It almost felt like I just exited my body from the back and watched a movie that you don’t remember, just some pieces and parts scattered around your memory. She had been talking about my brother and how he had been living on our couch. I remember that. And I was defending him as he is family, and well you don’t really have a choice.

Brent had come on hard times a few months back. He was laid off of his job due to the CEO of his company wanting a pool installed at his house, and need Brent’s paycheck to get there. Some people are the absolute worst. It really wasn’t his fault, but they also found a way to make it look like negligence on the job and now he had no way of covering the gap until he found something new to pay the bills.

Clara just couldn’t deal with one more person in the house and I don’t blame her. It’s always had to work with extra people in your space. But this argument was just too much. He’s family for christ sakes. I think the last thing I said before I slammed the door shut behind me was, “Fine! well now there will be one less person in the house!” Then I got in the car and just drove. I let all the thoughts in my mind drift away and let the sound of the tires on the road drift up into my ears and sooth away the fight.

I suppose it was time to head back, as soon as I could figure out where back was. I have a long conversation to have with Brent, and some apologies to give to Clara. I know everything will work out though, it always does.

-V-

Start Over

I found myself driving mindlessly. The road in front of me, meaningless. The road behind a fading and forgotten memory, like an elusive fly. I tried to figure out where I had been for the past few months, but every grasp at the past ended in a thick fog in my mind. Snow flurries we in the sky now; slowly dropping in the distance and whipping by my car as I approached them. In the rear view mirror I could seem them settling back on their path to the ground as if I had never been there.

The cityscape seemed so far behind me now, nothing but fields around. I swear I was just immersed in tall buildings, making fast sharp turns. Feeling the extra gravity press me back into my seat. The excitement imprinted on me like a kiss from a long lost loved one, felt forevermore. But now, there were no curves, nothing to add to the feeling of movement. The world was passing around me at what felt like a snails pace.

The sun glinted and blinded me from something on the horizon. My mind raced around all the possibilities of the cause. A companion for my ride? A bridge to a new land? A town? The drive to the object seemed to last forever. And, alas I was broken to learn it was a simple sign posted on the side of the road. It read, “10 smi to Forgict.” I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of this. The sign was a cool metal, but the text on it looked hand written, it was sort of elegant and sloppy at the same time, if that’s even possible.

I looked down at the gages in my car, it seemed this was the first time they had any meaning. The fuel gage was strangely dropping fast to ‘E’. Something was pulling me towards this place. Who am I to go against a greater plan? On top of that, what else could I do? I drove on.

As I crossed into the town the snow abruptly stopped. It almost looked like summer outside of my windows. I chanced it and lowered the driver’s side. A blast of fresh warm air slapped across my face. It forced it way up my nose and pressed on directly into the back of my mind. Wildflowers and clouds were the only thing I could focus on for that moment. I drove right into the center of the town and found myself stopped in front of a statute of a beautiful women with expansive wings extended behind her.

Compelled I exited the car and walked up to the sculpture. Her hands were above her holding a sword that seemed to be engulfed in flames. I locked eyes with hers, and in that brief juncture the sword burst into real flames. Her face broke free of the stone; I could see tears streaming down her face. And then she brought the sword down.

-V-

A World Alone (Part 1)

The day everyone disappeared. I was lying in bed, awake, as usual. Every night for the past week I would lay down and my thoughts would start to run away. Insomnia can be a real killer. Each day starts to blur together, and time doesn’t feel as real as it used to, two days ago could seem like weeks; a month ago, only yesterday. I would sit there and wonder if this was some type of omen. I would leave the window open and stare out at what few stars I could see. It seems no amount of words can really explain feelings.

Finally the sun was coming up. I figured I would drive over to her house and wake her up with the present of a Red Bull; she was always on my mind. Anywhere I would go, something would remind me of her. A plastic flower in another girl’s hair, a scent would drift into my car, as I would drive at night to try and tire myself out, a random dog sitting on the street corner, a glittering object in the distance, every thrift store and bookshop. Anytime I would see something I knew she would like I would be sure to go out of my way to acquire it for her, cost or trade, it didn’t matter.

Even the car had a scent of her lingering from the previous night. Just hanging in the air as a reminder of the possibilities, the dreams, the joys to come. Key in ignition, it started as it always had, a click, a sputter. The engine jumped to life. I was excited; I’m always excited to see her. My heart skips a beat just thinking about it. Calm down, I tell myself. I put the car in reverse and begin the journey to her home.

Traffic seems exceptionally light, in fact, I don’t pass a single other car. Is it a holiday? No, I think I would have remembered that. But then again, my memory is kind of shit at times. Perhaps there’s a motorcade coming through town today, and I missed the bulletins, but then there would be police blocking my progress. I turn on to her street. Her car sits just outside her home. I know I’m just moments away from seeing the girl I adore beyond any I have known before.

Drinks in hand, I mount the steps of her porch and knock on the door. There is no reply. I try again, but this time I bang on the door, figuring she is just asleep. Five minutes go by, then ten, then twenty, and no response. I am getting concerned. I know she keeps a spare key tucked away in a fake rock hidden around the back of her house. Her and I are not quite to the point of really being in each others houses without the other present, and certainly not uninvited, but something feels really wrong. What if she fell while taking a shower and is lying there by the bathtub, life leaving her, and I’m the only chance she has of survival. I figure, in this case my trespass can be safely excused if I’m wrong.

-V-

Read Part 2