Driving Away

I sat in my car flipping through the radio stations. Each one was pretty garbage to listen to. The first one I scanned to happened to be religious talk. I just can’t generally believe anyone who has a radio show is terribly pious. Next up classic rock, songs your suburban friends father would listen to while drinking a light nondescript American beer. Followed up quickly by top forty, to me this is just the bottom of the bottoms of music. Artists that have no idea how to sing or play their instruments, being electronically fixed to the music written by someone who has algorithms for what sells and basically is mass producing fast food music that everyone finds easy to consume but lacks all the essential nutrients that people need to grow and have meaning.

I ended up just turning the radio off. I had been driving for hours. Just following where my heart was telling me to go. Generally south and west. I don’t know why these directions were what was working, but every time I came to a decision point in the road, I would sort of just keep aiming for where the sun was going. It seemed to be working well until the sun was completely out of sight, and now I had absolutely no idea where I was.

How did I get here? No idea. I remember a few words with Clara, but something snapped, my vision sort of blurred and I know a lot of yelling happened. It almost felt like I just exited my body from the back and watched a movie that you don’t remember, just some pieces and parts scattered around your memory. She had been talking about my brother and how he had been living on our couch. I remember that. And I was defending him as he is family, and well you don’t really have a choice.

Brent had come on hard times a few months back. He was laid off of his job due to the CEO of his company wanting a pool installed at his house, and need Brent’s paycheck to get there. Some people are the absolute worst. It really wasn’t his fault, but they also found a way to make it look like negligence on the job and now he had no way of covering the gap until he found something new to pay the bills.

Clara just couldn’t deal with one more person in the house and I don’t blame her. It’s always had to work with extra people in your space. But this argument was just too much. He’s family for christ sakes. I think the last thing I said before I slammed the door shut behind me was, “Fine! well now there will be one less person in the house!” Then I got in the car and just drove. I let all the thoughts in my mind drift away and let the sound of the tires on the road drift up into my ears and sooth away the fight.

I suppose it was time to head back, as soon as I could figure out where back was. I have a long conversation to have with Brent, and some apologies to give to Clara. I know everything will work out though, it always does.

-V-