The Clearing

I stood in the center of the clearing, deep in the forest. This was my place, a place where only the creatures of nature and I knew about. It lay a short walk from my back door through the woods. The trick was crossing the stream back there. There was a log you could cross, but it was hidden in a cove that was most likely created by beavers. To either side of the cavern was a branch and bramble wall, no way to forge over it. but if you looked real close you would find a small section of branches tied together with makeshift tree bark rope.

Once pulled aside you could crawl under the catch weed into a small space with the large timber to cross over the water. The space here was not mine, and I knew it. It was modified so I could pass, but there was always a sense of eyes upon you. I never felt in danger, but I knew that I was only welcome as a passer by and not invited to stay for any length of time.

Beyond the crossing there were a few love paths well trodden in the forest floor. They seemed ancient and terribly unkempt. I had once spent some time trying to map them out, but quickly became bored with the prospect of where they led when I had found the clearing.

I had affectionately come to call it the glade. It was about forty paces in diameter and near perfectly round. The edges seemed to understand that they needed to maintain the circle. The foliage was emerald green, not a section of earth could be seen, thick and lush. A short grass about ankle high grew all over. It was as if it had decided that it was at the perfect height and stopped.

The trees encircling the space almost formed a perfect privacy fence. From everywhere outside of the clearing one would have no idea it existed. It was as if nature herself decided that this place was to be kept hidden from most, I would say all, but I had been given the privilege of locating the space.

In the summer I could lay in the open space for hours and just think about the universe around me. It was quite an inspiring place to be. Light breezes would light over the trees and swoop down into the center and keep one at the perfect temperature, also creating a soothing sound, a music all it’s own, in your ears.

Sometimes a squirrel would play along the edge of the clearing searching for supplies for the upcoming winter, mostly they kept to themselves, but if I brought snacks with me, they were certainly happy to share. Sometimes they would dance along the edge of the green, a complex series of movements around each other, elegant and otherworldly I could watch their movements losing complete track of time. When the shade would hit the center of the patch I knew it was time to head home.

-V-

Goodbye

She stood in the doorway, lips quivering slightly. The sunlight was sneaking through the open frame silently stealing a kiss on her cheek. I’d seen this scene so many times in my head before, but this time it was real, and there was no changing it. She wore a summer dress I had bought for her last year. It was a deep azure blue, which set her eyes ablaze. The cut accented every part of her body in just the right ways. She held one hand on the doorknob and the other resting gently on the doorframe.

A breeze lapped against her hair, pushing and pulling the blonde locks like waves crashing on a beach. Every once in a while a blink of her tiny perfect ears would slip into view and quickly disappear again. In a single moment I thought of all the good times we shared. Beaches and camping, traveling to far away places, blindly meandering around new and exciting villages, spending time doing nothing at all, watching television and movies, having picnics, daydreaming. She exhaled slowly.

I returned my gaze to her face. It was composed of a strong sense of sadness and stern detachment. She wasn’t looking at me per se, but more through me. I could feel it. It was unnerving. We felt stuck in a moment. I have no idea how long it lasted, but it was broken by the sun finally finding some refuge behind a lone cloud playing in the sky. Her lips parted slightly.

“Well?” It emanated from her lips with shocking indifference. I looked into her eyes and found them considering me in a way I had never seen before. I felt lost.

“Well, what?” I replied, not sure what to say anymore. I decided my best plan of action was to get as much information as possible.

“What do you mean, ‘well, what?’” She retaliated with fire, “don’t you have anything to say? Anything at all?”

“What can I say?” I thought out loud. She rolled her eyes to this answer.

Then it all hit me in a wave. The other half of our story, the nightmare nights of pain and sorrow, the agony we had put each other through, the fights, the scrutiny, the derision and ridicule. We were not good for each other at all and we both knew it. But what was left at this point? She stood there in silence, waiting.

“Well the way I figure it, there really is only three words I can say anymore.” I was making my gambit.

“Three words, eh?” She said sarcastically, “this ought to be good.” I wasn’t entirely sure what she was expecting, but a fire was building inside of me. I took her hand from the doorknob and placed it gently in mine and looked deeply into her eyes.

“I don’t care.” I said it softly but with plied earnestness. In the briefest moment I watched her jaw drop a little as she turned and rushed through the doorway. When there is no winning, no going back, you may as well go for mutually assured destruction.

-V-

Glimpsing a Moment

The air was musty and light, it had just finished raining only moments before. The sun was finally finding small pathways through the dense clouds and speckling small parts of the ground around us. The air had cooled considerably due to the rains and a light fog could be seen in the trees in the distance. We were all sitting around a table silently waiting for someone to kick the conversation off, but no one seemed to want that honor.

“Strange weather we are having?” The person to the left of me finally ventured.

“Oh, I don’t know, seems to be par for the area,” I replied, “This time of year, one needs a jacket, an umbrella, shorts, pants, t-shirt, and long-sleeve shirt everywhere they go. The weather is a bit psychotic around here.”

“Yeah,” they responded back, “I hear it’s tornado season as well.”

I rolled my eyes and thought of all the high winds and loud sirens that would be ruining my spring days. It had already been a relatively extreme winter, and now it looked like we were heading into a spiteful spring. I have found that I’m easily weather affected and this was not looking good.

Quickly tiring of discussing the weather I explored other possibilities of conversation at the table and found myself drawn to the creature sitting across from me. She sat introverted with her eyes closely appraising her hands. She ran her index finger of her left hand around each digit on her right, slowly seeking up to each tip and down into each valley. When she would get to either her pinky or thumb, she would work back the way she had come. I found myself entranced by the movement; it looked soothing.

She looked up for the briefest of moments and our eyes connected. It must have been too much for her; she hastily averted her eyes back down to her hands. I found myself compelled to continue observing her. I wanted desperately to find something else to lay my attention on, but I couldn’t. She opened up her frame and looked back into my eyes, this time with more fervor. It may have only been for another short second, but we were locked into each other, time suspended.

Her eyes pleaded with me. They showed me depths I could only slightly understand, depths that have no words for describing, just a bunch feelings that make no sense together. I had an overwhelming sense of sadness impressed upon me. It was the kind of sadness you can only see in someone when you have known great loss.

She made an attempt at a smile, but her eyes betrayed her. It felt like looking into an infinite abyss, I could see my own sadness reflected back. I just stared wishing there was something I could do. Wishing we could really share our sadness and excise it somehow. She tried her smile again, but to no avail. In an instant the pause was lost, we both looked away and knew the moment would never come back. We knew that our sorrows would be our own to deal with.

-V-