The other side of the elevator doors did not hold a pleasant
sight for me. Two burly men with fully automatic assault rifles trained on my
head and body. They sort of looked like twins, heavily muscled and very well
armed twins. I figured I’d try a little humor to lighten this tense moment.
“So, uh, Tweedledee and Tweedledum any idea where the rattle
is?” I smiled as best as anyone could knowing that they could be littered with
a large array of bullets at any moment. They gave each other a look that
inspired a little more fear in me than I’m usually used to.
“You got a lot of balls.” The one that I’d like to think of
as Tweedledee said to me.
“Well you know, what’s the point in have extras if you’re not
willing to show them off every once in a while.” I wasn’t dead yet, so I
figured I’d continue trying my luck at the wisecrack game.
“We could just off him you know.” Tweedledum piped in. This
was not going to work in my favor if he was making the decisions for them.
Although I was getting the feeling that these guys only had enough brains
between the two of them for one person.
“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” I asked, buying time, “I
mean wouldn’t you have to clean up the mess, or at least explain why there is a
mess to your boss?”
“He does have a point,” Tweedledum muttered, “I mean I don’t
want to have to do the cleaning, and I always have to do the cleaning. Why’s it
you never do the cleaning?”
“Because, the boss likes me better you dolt.” Tweedledee answered
back. I was seeing my in here, I just had to play them off each other a little.
“Hey, Tweedledum, you could just let me out of here a little
so I can do my delivery and be on my way. Plus you know it would be you making
the decisions, we both know you’re the smarter one anyways.”
“You know he does have a good point,” I could see that I was
making some headway here, “plus the boss didn’t say nothing about offing him.”
“Would you just shut up?” Tweedledee threw back at him, “I
know the boss didn’t say nothing, but this is the only fun we ever get to have,
no one ever tries to raid the lair. It just get’s so boring around here.” I
spied my way out of the situation.
“Okay guys, you’ve had your fun. Supposing it’s time to let
me out and on my way? I’m real sure the boss wants this package toot sweet.”
The last idiom must have caused their brains to work overtime; I don’t think
these guys ever got out.
“Uh, yeah okay.” With the flip of a hidden switch I was
released. I rubbed at my wrist, which was surprisingly unharmed in the grips of
the elevator trap. “You’ll want to go straight down the hall, it’s the big red
door at the end. Can’t miss it.”
“And I can’t say I’ll miss you guys either, thanks much.” I
skirted them as quickly as I could and made my way down the hall.
-V-
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